#DearMama-Meet Charaia

I remember the moment I became a mother. The news felt both daunting and beautifully refreshing. It was as though I was gifted with the very thing I desired and yet, felt so incapable of holding. If anything motherhood has taught me everything about grace. It’s the seemingly impossible task of everyday where I can let God's glory seep through the cracks of my mistakes.

Growing up with a very emotionally unavailable mother has made it hard for me to walk this journey of motherhood in a healthy way. I struggled falling into the truth that I was a good mom. I think even further than that I struggled believing I was meant to be a mom. I had no problem saying it on my good days, on the days when motherhood felt easy and natural. The days when I felt I had all the answers. But truth is only truth when we believe it on our worst days. Truth is only truth when it sustains us in our brokenness and restores that which we destroy in our fear. 

I think many mothers struggle with the truth that who they are called to be as a mother is not defined by their worst days or their best days. I think many mothers struggle fighting against who they think they should be and how they think they should be doing things. And in that pursuit of perfection we rob our children of the gift their hearts most desire -our presence. 

We hear all the time that our children are a gift to us. And that is truer than anything I’ve experienced. But as I show up to motherhood each and every day, I’ve discovered another truth: we are the greatest gift to our children. We give to our children through the tasks that go unnoticed to keep them safe, the meals we cook to keep them fed and healthy, the stories we read to keep them full of wonder, the hugs we give to keep their love on, and the apologies we give to keep their hearts tender. 

I believe knowing that we are the greatest gift our child will receive empowers us to see the strength in being present in every mundane moment. I know that though my children will not remember every gift I gave them, their life will always whisper “thank you” to my heart. 

And that is so worth it.