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#DearMama-Its Me!

#DearMama-Its Me!

When we lose one blessing, another is most often unexpectedly given in its place.
— C.S. Lewis

It has been so fun and encouraging, sharing and getting to know my mama friends and their stories more. One of the best parts of motherhood, for me, has been making other mom friends that understand and encourage me along the way. As the month of May comes to a close I figured I'd end the #DearMama series with myself <3

If you've been hanging with me for awhile, then you know all about DJ and his very unexpected arrival (If not, you can read his birth story here) and how his journey truly shaped my outlook on motherhood. Although I didn't have a traditional pregnancy and labor wasn't typical, to get where we are today has truly been a labor of love.

To be honest there was a time I wasn't sure I was ever going to be a mother. Coming from two late term losses and an early miscarriage, I was almost sure having a baby just wasn't in the cards for me. Theres no way to explain that kind of loss unless you've experienced it firsthand. I was sick of trying, sick of hoping, sick and tire of being sick and tired. I was hurt and I was angry at God. It felt like He was turning a deaf ear to my desires of being a mother, everyone around me was getting to experiemce it but me. So I gave up. I decided I was going throw myself into everything else but having a baby and I would just have to figure out a way to cope. Its funny to think back on it now because right when I felt like I was done, the Lord was just getting started.

I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord
— Isaiah 66:9

By the time I had began to contemplate maybe, possibly, some time in the future, probably, think about having another baby, I was already over two months pregnant. From there it was a serious faith journey, overcoming fear of the past and trying to be hopeful for the future. Becoming a mother, specifically becoming DJs mother, has matured me in ways I couldn't imagine. Having to watch my child literally form outside the womb and fight everyday to be here, it made me a thousand times more grateful for this his life. Gods hand was truly on my son and when I got to take him home it was so real, I finally had my rainbow baby.

One of the best things that came from this journey has definitely been meeting mamas from all walks of life. I didn't really want to share our story at first but the moment I did, I met women from all over who either shared my struggle or something similar. It was reassuring to know I wasn't going through this alone. That's where the idea for this series came from because the more mamas I met and talked with, the more I saw how different motherhood is for everyone. For some it comes easy and naturally while for others not so much. Sometimes we need help conceiving or help carrying to full term, other times we adopt or foster or use a surrogate. However we become mothers doesn't matter, we're mamas. And I wanted to celebrate all that we are no matter what it looked like.

Thank you guys for following along, I hope you enjoyed this series just as much as I did. 

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